The Power of Choice

On my way to my supervision and therapy sessions today, a very rainy and windy apocalyptic day in the north of England, I randomly came across a Ted-talk about the power of choice by the wise Carolyn Myss.

I usually listen to what the universe sends trusting that it is a case of synchronicity and that the universe sends us what we need at each moment and i receive it with open-mind and curiosity.

It was indeed what I needed. Carolyn made me think about how difficult it is indeed to make decisions for a good reason: because decisions have the power to change our life; and we are indeed powerful because we have the freedom to choose, which is an existential challenge for us humans.

The freedom to choose is terrifying, the more choice the scarier it is; if we take risks, we can fail or worse be humiliated.

With the freedom to choose and the power of choice comes the power of words; the words we use and how they affect our story and our mental and emotional state. Carolyn invites us to pick a word from our vocabulary and decide to banish it forever. What would it be like if you could never see or say: tired? Fed-up? Anxious? Stressed? If? Worry?

What would it be like if we made a choice and stuck with it, like the choice to ‘live an integrious life’, the choice to ‘walk the way I talk’ and make that a practice on a moment by moment every day of my life?

To say yes when I mean yes and no when I mean no and to not betray or compromise myself, and in that it also means that I will treat others as I want to be treated because anything else would be compromising my integrity?

Ernesto Spinelli suggests that our choice is sometimes a singularity when we imagine it to be a multiplicity and that accepting the one choice which is available to us, can liberate of much agony. The choices we see as small, such as deciding to not use a word, or deciding the be grateful, or powerful, or integrious, or professional, or compassionate, can make the biggest difference; it’s not the big decisions that are hard, it’s the ones we see as small but can make a tremendous difference in how we experience the world.

Choice and decisions are often what brings people to therapy. Deciding our stance on choice, to be courageous and take risks rather than do nothing will also make the world of difference on what goes on in our therapy room and how we support our clients with their/our common existential conditions. I know it made a difference to my day. It could have been so much different on this wintery dark cold and wet day.